Kind さんのプロフィールStory of Mr_Kindheartフォトブログリストその他  |  ツール ヘルプ |
Story of Mr_Kindheart4月22日 Bored!!!Bored!!My Life is bored!!I felt my life so damn bored for now....or mayb my emotional now is so bored....i don't know what should i do. I hope to face something new....but i scared will have a big change in my life...It will turn to bad i think it will...Everyday do the same thing, face the same person, talk some same conversation....nothing special at all...It's like....not motivated at all....It just like born to b waiting ur time is up....i hope to face something more challenge.....but i don't know which challenge life style i want to.....Haiz....everyday...just know to haiz...haiz haiz...n haiz to my ownself....money is the first matter....it just like a dead person flat line chart....1 straight line won't up but sometimes will only down....
Ages keep increasing, what is that mean? means our life span become more short.....n decrease....then one day, oh...I'll become plant fertilizer....how useful i am....i got no point i live for what? It just like ,to fulfill mankind quantity....so bored...so bored...everything so silent....so dark....i can't c my future...that what i'm afraid for now i think....i can't grab my own life.....I have family, dad,mum,sis, and even girlfriend. What am i still not satisfy? actually i'm a easy to pleased person....but now i feel...still owe something....i don't know what is that, money? of course that can't be avoidable...every 1 owe that, freedom? em...not really...i have enough. Entertainment, ya entertainment i think....in my life entertainment for me is games, computer games,console games....i don't mean this..i mean outside world adventure entertainment...but that cost me alot....haiz.....turn a big round...also money crisis........Every thing....is money....i hate money...but also need money...haha...i think somebod read this sure said i'm talking crap......nothing special...just want to xpress out my moody emo for now.....what u want to say...is up to u....i feel a bit light now....
For those who know what how i'm feel...i would like to say...thanks for sharing with me....coz i'm also don't know what i feel....haha...
for who don't...i want to wish u congratulation....u can grab ur life so good... 2月6日 Life is not like what u plan....Life is hard 2 predicted...when ur thinking u in good condition...that the problem is hiding behind da good thing....
I think many people dunno wat i'm talking here....let me start my unsatisfied feeling here....
I thought my life is wonderful b4....i hav a wonderful family....peaceful....i'm also hav a wonderful gf....she always take care of me....but this is only the thing i thought......when u look carefully in deep n times passing more longer...prob will appear n quite many prob happen.....it not as peace as u think....just the face cover u saw is nice....chinese word we say(u look me good,i look u good) i know every1 hav their own problem...i wrote down here not 2 ask sympathy...but just want 2 write it out...2 release it.....so dun giv me any comment say that 'aiyoh..only u 1 person meh...me also lah...or every 1 also lah...' i'm here 2 write down it...n nvr force u 2 read it...
gf problem is....she having an affair.....sounds terrible rite?? but calm down...she is having an affair with her car....we ady hav 4 year relation......but when she bought her car last year....she still in take care....not me...but car......she over take care her car.....i know the car payment giv us many pressure....but not that critical situation....
sumtimes when she mad at me...she said that not that i'm wrong..but she dunno how 2 tell me wat's wrong on me.....this is really giv me a hard clue.......sumtimes...i can't felt her luv.....this make my relation 2 her is shaking.....i don't know how long this will go....n i dun hope our relation end cause by this dead metal.......coz i'm really care bout her...n luv her....i dunno she know it or not.....sumtimes i complaint 2 her...she take care the car more than me....then...she said...she hav care me .....but i can't feel it sumtimes...she said...luv no need 2 show out...i know that...i dun need u show out..but i need 2 feel out.....1 whole day she nvr call me,sms 2 ask how my condition or wat is happening 2 me? but i'm da 1 who call her 3 times a day sumtimes....i feel myself irriitating.....she hav a good patience....she can lost contact with me untill i call her back....i dun hope much...i just 2 get a sms or call fro mher n ask about me...wat happen 2 me? or ask sumthign care bout me....is enuf 4 me....i feel happy 4 that...is very happy....really happy.....
1 week i think i nvr receive from her more then 10 sms.......just like 2day....if not i call her...she won't call me.....n she mad at me sumtimes..coz i nvr call her....i need 2 b cared also......i'm not a tough metal.....i hav feeling....
sumtimes....i dun hope 2 b a good person....like people said....good person hard 2 b....it better 2 b a bad guy....we no need 2 take care people feel....just can ignore it...dump it...quarrel bout it.......haiz....after talk so much...i'm also dunno wat am i talking......just everything is PISSING ME OFF.....so PISS OF.... 10月8日 Bachelor Life Day...2day is my most free day in my life....i can with my old fren 2gether like an old time...when we was secondary school.......we all 'ma lat lou'(all guys) went for wash eye(stare pretty gal) ,many leng lui keep passig by...oh god..like in heaven...
 but sumtimes felt a bit lonely when saw sum with bf...actually i suppose same with them 2day...but coz sum accidental quarrel....so i b bachelor 2day.... we go 2 watch movie,but sumthing happen . Our movie ticket date is 5 oct 2007...means it already expired...but i booked 4 7 oct 2007....u know wat word that screaming in my heart??? 1 japanese word (  SHIMATA!!!) means OH MY GOD!!...u know how many people ticket i booked???include me is 11 people!!! 11 people man!!!!if really can't refund or watch the movie back...i need 2 pay back all my fren money!!!For god sake....i go complaint the admin staff n blame it was their wrong 2 giv me da wrong date ticket...n i keep pray 4 god,hope it will refund me back or delay 2 other movie time......while waiting,lucky i have done many good deed..n da god hear my wish.....the admin staff giv us another time 4 the show.....while in the show i felt asleep b4 the show started but i wake up lah when story start....usually i won't de....coz my gf always by myside...so i'm always chat with her n xplain 2 her wat this movie story regarding or take care of her 2 wear jacket coz cold....but 2day...
still i felt a bit emptiness....it just like missing sumthing.....actually i hope sumtimes can b alone with fren.....but after 2day...i can't lie 2 myself...i'm really can't b alone without her...it felt not completed.....now i know y my fren after break up y keep searching 4 another gf....coz of loneliness....after been a few years with her, everything u hope can share with her n tell wat u hav done or happening 2day with her....but 2day it happen many thing 2 me...like got people wanna fight car park place with me( i won at last),ticket wrong date, n da dinner 2day is nice i hope she can taste it also...but i got nobod 2 tell....i just can get the enjoy mood by myself....it only enjoy in a second with fren....but it past very fast...when think back...it not enjoy at all by myself...coz everything i shared it 2gether with my gf...it been 4 years we get 2 use to b like this....mayb it not a long time 4 other people....but 4 me...it a whole life..... after finish the movie my fren told me he heard next 2 him that person is snoring .....haha that make me laugh...the movie we watch is 'Resident evil :extinction' how com such a person can asleep...so many suspen scene....this is 4 my fren who watch with me...there know who the person is snoring....i dare 2 wrote at here coz that person 101% sure won't check my blog...hahaha  (let's continue back with my bachelor life)
Then lastly dinner.....we go 4 steamboat....all crazy fighting 4 mushroom n meat ball,splash boil soup 2 hand( stupid gus lah),chat guy crap( mostly gal)......hahha....really like an old time...i gav a suggestion,if we still not full yet....let's try put 5 yee mee cooked 2gether n wait 15 min 2 eat,wat can u imagine?a mountain of yeemee will flood out from the pot...but of course we nvr do this crazy thing lah...how 2 put inside oh 5 yeemee at the same time...we 6 person only spend rm 100.06 4 the steamboat....quite cheap.....finally....it end of my bachelor life....my conclusion is ...it not so fun....only can lie 2 ur ownself...that u no need her....but actually it not....
dun missundestand....we not broke up....it only a quarrel 2 balance our relation ship....do u heard this b4? got quarrel means got improve in ur luv....so u can know wat mistake or problem that appear...but not 2 often lah....it only 4 sumtimes.....not quarrel in purpose k....just wanna take this opportunty 2 try out b single again 4 1 day....how it feel like..when i'm still a single 4 the old time...... 4月2日 First time and also the last time i adopt pet. First time and also the last time i adopt pet.
4月18日 So Pain...Really so pain....IT's been a long time nvr update my blog......i dunno my blog intresting or not....but mostly is sad story or a bad 1.It becoz i 1 2 write it out n can't xpress 2 any 1 even thought the luv 1, coz it will hurt her if she know wat i felt, n quarrel will happen. Then i choose here 2 let go a bit my pain, mostly this pain came out from luv. It can't b describe how it pain, only u know it wat it felt n others who in the same situation.
Now here the story.... the 1 u luv was sad, coz the family prob. She so protect her family even thought her family dun treat her nice, n u can't resist wat her family treat her, but u can't do anything. U know y can't do anything? 1st! It was her family, wtf u can do 2 them? if u plan 2 b relation with them in future, wtf still u can do? go to her house n f#c* them 1 by 1? their bro, n sis all of them? I dun think so, i dun hav that gut 2 do it. Not bcoz i'm scared! this is not the point i scared. If u plan with ur luv 1 4ever in future, of course the 1st priority u must good with ur luv 1 family, dun care how there treat ur luv 1 is bad or good, u still hav 2 smile 2 them n do nothing but watching it stand bside like a useless fu#*er. U know how the pain was? Do u really know it?
When the day u can't stand 4 it n let ur luv 1 know, "U must care more 2 urself, U already done wat u can." I dun 1 u b like that, Do u know how pain n hard 4 me 2 know it but do nothing?"I know i can't blame u, bcoz it was ur family, u must take care of them, but u also need 2 take care of urself" Even thought u already done wat u hav done, there also not satisfy 2 u n blame at u" this is wat i said 2 let her know. Wat do u all think the answer u will get? Will u think the answer might b ' I know wat u told me is good 4 me' or ' I know! but wat can i do? there r my family, u 1 me 2 left them? or this 1 ' My family business u dun bz body' ..........of course i hope the answer is the 1st 1, if the 2nd also can i accept but with a pain heart, n the 3rd answer just settle it...i dun care ur family prob anymore(i won't said this).......but wat the answer i get is really so so so so pain...it not the 3 answer on above.
The answer was....
 y u feel so pain? is this answer enuf 2 kill u? i think not just kill u.....if kill, u just can die in sec, but this is torturing u..... U can't reply back, bcoz u got so dissapointed coz she really duno wat u felt. u can't reply back, bcoz u got no energy 2 reply back coz ur 2 frustrating. u can't reply back, bcoz u feel like bzbod. U can't reply back, bcoz u felt like stranger.
I bet if 4 other people who really luv ur luver n got this answer, wat is ur react? burst? finish? bang wall? bite shoe or table? stab urself?This is not enuf yet u know? bcoz there was a 2nd wave.
 She ask me again.....
i really duno how pain ur, if u dun tell me how i know?i'm really luv her so much......u know?...the more u luv ur luver....the more sensitive u got with ur luver.....bcoz every single word out from her mouth or ur mouth will hurt u or her.
 really hard 2 sleep 2nite....but anywhere....i felt a bit k now....mayb will watch anime till asleep...if not...how i sleep leh....haiz...... 
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